


The Wonderful Adventured of Enoby Dark'ness Dementia Raven War and Her Goff Frends

by Jessicorn1, pansiesforthoughts, TheFishySalmon



Category: (My) Immortal: The Web Series, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Multi, THIS IS SATIRE, self harm tw, suicide TW, tw for slitting of wrists and such
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28874328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessicorn1/pseuds/Jessicorn1, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pansiesforthoughts/pseuds/pansiesforthoughts, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFishySalmon/pseuds/TheFishySalmon
Summary: ebony darkness dementia taven way (sshe isnt related to gerard way but she wishes she waz becos hes a major fucking hottie) and her friens drako, vamapire and blody mary are all goffs who go to a magick school called hogwarts. they are all goffs and they lik hot topic and slitting their wrists.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, Draco Malfoy/Vampire Potter/Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, Remus Lupin/Severus Snape, Vampire Potter/Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way





	1. chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frankie: omfg hi every1 my names frankie (im not related to frank i3ro though) im writing this story with my best friends ruby and lillith becaz we LOVE tara;s fanfiction and we're all really good at writing. if you don't leave kudos ur a pr3p!!!!1!! fangz 4 reading!!!!1!
> 
> Lilith: hi gofs!!! Frankie is the coolest person eva and Ruby is so kawaii!!! Prepz get losttttt!!!
> 
> Frankie: lillith ur soooo goffick
> 
> ruby: welcom to uor stroy!! hop u lik it!! if u dont get lost ur a fockin prep!!

Hi im ebony dark’ness dementia raven way and im a goffick vampire. i go to this magick skool called hogwarts an d im in 7th year so basically im really cool. My 3y3s are red becos im a vampire and also im a satanist. Im in slith3rin and so is my boyfriend draco who is a vampire too. We have some other friends too who are all goffs becaz PREPS SUK!!!1!!!1!

vampire levelled his gun at Snap while Good Charlotte played in the background

"lower your gun," he thr3w an anv1l across the room, smashing the music player

"not the music!" i, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (im unrelated to Gerard Way, ugh he waz soooo hawt in tda helena mosaic video), said as I lept forward

Draco did too and we pulled out our gunz

‘YOU ARE ALL SANTANISTS yelled snap ‘THSS IS UNACPTABLE

"What are you fuckers doing?" Dumbledore said as he ran in da room (he must have a headache becos he waz relly mad)

“Omfg shut up prep u have alzheimers anyway” i groweld 

  
  


Bloody Mary Smith and Diabolo ran in and saw the scene.

“Snap what are you doing?” they sobbed

“Snap was being a totl prep and insulting us goffs and Good Charlotte becose he’s a prep.”

“I thoght you likd Good Charlotte.”

“It was all a trik to lure u in. I will now play prepppppppp msuic” snap hissed mischefiously

He pulled a jukebox out and started playing horrable prep music we all coverd our ears to protect our soles from the lite. i stated to cry bloody tearz

vampire shot his gun and it hit the jukebox. snap screamed and shot too. dumbleore swore again. I fink he has angre issues becos of his alzheimers

dracko waz aimng his gun at snap again and he looked really sexy, like a mix between billy joe armstrong and pete wentz and billy joel. His eyes weer red like mine because he is a vampire too and a goff,

Today i was wearing a black ripped dress from hot topic with a red corset with black lace on it. I waz wearing heps of santanic jewelly (becaz im a goff!) and red and black bots that went op to my nees and fishnets which were ripped. Vampire and draco said i looked realy sexy but then draco got mad at vampite because he’s a poser and trying to steal me. Dumble dore ran for the exit becos his headach got wors and he neded imediat medikal help. Snap folowed becoz he’s a prep and ther waz to much goff enrgy

Ten the rest of us went back to the dorm rooms and i walkaed with draco. We held hands and it waz so sexy omg. We went up too my rom and he went to hiz. 


	2. chapter too

We haz to get redy for the good charlotte concert tonite. Drac invitd me and vampir was jealous but he’z a lozer. Bloody Mary waz also goin with uz and so waz Diablor and we wer goin to hav a rel party aftr.

I got chamgaegd into a sexy goffick outfit because joel madden might see me in the crowd. When i walked out of my black dorm room bloody mary waz waiting for me

“Oh my god bitch u look so kawaii!’ she said when she saw my goffic out fit

‘No u do bich’  
Then i waz feeling sad so I went and kutted my rists and the blood was all on my clothese so it looked really cool adn satanik then I wnt out and Drako was ther and he kised me and vampir saw the blod and was jealos.vampire is bi so it waz really hot omfg. (omfg bi boyz r so hot lik wtf)


	3. chap 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no preps r alowd!! I h8 u prps flmin da stroy!!!v olny goffs alwoled! All goffs fangz fro ur support!11!

Sudenly Snap and Loopin appered Bibble in handd and began to quot Leviticus 18:22 (if you dont now what that is den you ar not goff enuf)

Drako looked sad becos he is bi so I punched snap and he kried. Vampir apeared and Drako looked saddd becoz he wantd to spnd tim wiv me. 

Luckly vampre wasmt comin wiv us he jus crid.

“Enoby we shold hury the concert wil stat son.” Drako said depresdly.

“Ohno.” said B’loody Mar.

“What are you mothrfuckers dong u bitches. Fuck u.” Dumblledore fel from the rof but we wer outside. He stil had a headache and he waz FOORIOUSS.

Were going to da concept prep!” i said “not that u would nno becuse ur such a fucking prep”

“I wants to com too pls bitckes.” Dumbldoor beged.

‘NO UR PROBABLY A PERVET’ i screamed angily

“No I’m a gof Enoby, Drako I am yor dather.”

“Nooooo. Screamed Drako.

It mus be a lie he wold not be my faver in law.

“I’m afrd it is tru. A long tim ago (butt not very lon becoz Draki is yongand hott) I had an elicit afair wiv yor mover and u wer born but I had too run te shool.

“You basturd.” Drco cried teers of blood and it waz relly hot (sensitiv bi guyz r so hot omfg if u dont lik thm ur homphobe)

“No you motherfucks, u ar the rel bostards.” Dumbledooor ascended to heven but i fink he’ll be bac.

“Oedipus waz a motherfuccker.” Blody Mary aded helpfuly.

“He waz so gof.” Vanpire agred.

“I bet he looked loked like Gerard Way.”

“Omfg yess.”

We walked depresdly don the paff to Hogmede. Vamire had started wresling a thestarl becos h3 waz deprezzed. 

Blo0dy Mary and Diablo wer wering ther goth cloves. Bloody Mary wuz wering a dress with a littl tutu fing and fishnets an a corset. Diablo had a Good Charlote t-shrt. He had blak boots and stomped along like a goff.


	4. chapter for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi goffz! Iv had a lot ov h8 an im gonta say i don car dat ppl fink dat da charactas r not ritten rite becuz dey r VAMPIrS an DEY ARNT DA SAM AS DA BOKS oR DA FILMZ.

I cold see the venu that we haz gon to the My chemical r0,macne Concert. We wnt inside and I sae Gerard and he looked ova at me and I fanted behecaz he was really hot and Draco caught me. They stated sinin and we jumed in th moss pit. _In th3 middle of a gunfite in da centa of a restaront_ sang gerard and sudnly I saw Vampir on the stag what was he doin?

He got his gon out and I screamed. Blood Mary saw hi and pused her way thru to get to him and Diabol followed. He jomped out an yelled

“It’s akchually voldemorty my scrr hurts.”

Gereard turned around and suddenly he was voldemorr!

‘NOOOO’ i screamss ‘WHAT DID U DO TO GERD YOU ARE NO LONGER SEGGSY’

Everyone scremed ad ran out tha exittz. A gian sinchole opend up and I stared sliping but Drko grbed my hannd and held on. He waz really string becos he haz a 6 pack

“I cant die drako I’m a goof.”

sumfing stated oming out fo tha whole and voldemord scremed like a prep.

“What’s up motherfuckers! It is I dumb Door!”

H3 didnt hav a hedache any more but he waz still a prep so i diddnt cheer for him. Every1 was still screeaming but dumblydore pulled out a gun and shot at voldymort. 

“TAKE THAR MOTHERTRUCKER’ he growelled

Voldemort scremed because he got shot in da headd. ‘Dumbledorr youre such a pozer u cant even kill me!” 

**[A/N: Lilith: We cant kill our main vilain now!!! The goffs won’t see the prepz destroyed!!!**

**Ruby: but he wont dye yet majik rmember!!1!]**

Voldmortd pulled the bullet out of his head. Evry1 gasped. 

;’that waz so metal,’ whispered diablo but dublydore slapped him.

”YOU PERVERT”  
‘HAHAHAHA SUK IT’ yeled voldemort and he fluw away.

Dumblrdore curzed a lot.His hedake must have cum bak

We tuned arond and saw Snap and Loopin danglin fom the roff like puppets and they were makin ot.

“Ewwww!” Vamqire screamed an shoot at them to. They doged and disapeared in a clood of smok.

We ran ont tee stag and lookd behin the kurtan and therwas gerad! He had bean kidnaped by voldymort and waz tied up. 

‘Omfg gerard r u alright?’ i aksed

He d1d not repond becos he wuzs tied up and coodnt talk. I untid him ad den he cold talk. 

‘Thank u ebony’ he said ‘u r my hero’

Drako looked kindof jelous becus gerd was definitely fliting wiv me an he ran off stadsf to cruy. I didnt care tho becos gersd is acshoually way (geddit thas Gerdas’ last name!11!!) more hotter than dracko.

“OMFG gerrad your so goff!” B’lody Marry said then Diablo grabbed her hand becos they are dating ad I wana dat Gerrd.

‘Yeas he is’ i said ‘ he is so much more goff than drako, drako is a posers’

We herd the quiet suond of drakio criing and sliting his writs off the stage.

‘Hey gern do u want 2 go to hot topick sum time?’ i asked sexily

“Yeas,” he sayd satanically


	5. chapter five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fangz to all tha goffs for da support on da lazt chapta ur tha bezt!! Alzo I mode Enoby got in troble so shez no Mary Su! Fukk all da preps flamign it tho u suk!!! If u dont lik tha spelling den read sumfing els!!

Wen we got bak to the skull (geddit not school cuz im goff!!1!!) wher i waz tird so Geraad an I w3nt too my dorm ad i got undreszed an i feld deprezesd so i slid my ritz an let dem blood all ova my coffin dat i slep in an aslo my lacy lethar pijamas.

Drako cam in and he saw me bledin oot and he saw Geradd besid me and scremed and ran ad Gerad jumed up

“I have a cincert in antartica in teng mint0tes I hav to lev.”

“Noooo Gerry!” i screemed, not wontin him to leve.

Gerard piked up a char and smased the window wiv de char. He jumpd out and I ron over and loked ut but h3 waz gon.

I slitted my writs aagan and cried al nite listenin to Gud Carlotee.

In da mornin I wnt to transfig classe wher we wer turnin crosez into pentagrams (geddit becos we re santanistz??/?) insted of turnin dem into pens lik we wer ment to andn profezsor McGogglel said angily

“thats wrong u mediocre dunces!!!”

Then Draki waked in and he loked shy and walkd to me.

“Ebbony Dank’ness will you pls mary me?”

“We dont maryy we r satanists.” Diaboloo sid confussely

“Then will u be my girlfriend” he aksed hopfolly

“Yes” I said undepressedly and I juped up and kissedd him!

“U HORNY SIMPLETONS.” MGGOGGOLAGLE yeled.

The rezt of the clazz left ad profesorr google disapearred and daco and i wer alone and we starteddoin it wiv Linkdin park in da bakgrond becuz we r so goffik.

but sudenly sumone yeled

“WTF R U DOING!!!???”

it was dumbklydorr!!! And Loopin appeared as well!! wiv Snap piggybakin on im.

“Go away u prepz uhh,” draco yelled and his red eyes wer hot and he was angery.

He grabed my h4nd an we ran fom the rom. Evry1 lind the hal as we ron fru and into the grond. i saw Britany a p1nk preppy bitch as i ran so i put my midle finga up att hur. I wavd at th gint squid becoz he’s a goff an cool to and draky led me ntothe forst. Thn we strtd makin ot gain. he woz rlly hot an he stated takin off my cloves agen. and we did it agan.


	6. chaptre 6

It waz diner tim and we weer in da great hall. Some prepz were starring at me nd i put my midlle finga up at dem becos they wer juzt jelos ov my hawt ou tfit. I waz wering a blak riped mcr shirt wiv a red skrit and tigts that had skullz and pentegrmas on. Draco woz next too me and so waz vampire and I wos huggin hum and Vampir was jealous. Vampire iz relly hot wen hes jealos becauz hez realy sensititiv and bi ad also he loocks lik billie joe armstrong an mikey way combinned.

B’loody May waz sitin opositte me wiv diable.

“Goffs we hav clazz.”

“No I don wan ta go.” Drak complaned deprezsedly wiv his amrs crosed ova his Simlpe Plan shrit. He loked vry hott.

“But we hav divanation next wiv profesor trevolry! she s so cool becos shes a goff,’ said bloddie marry.

‘Yeah shes da only gud teacher” i sed

We walked to professor twehgdsn’s classweom whitch wuz all blak ad coverd in marylin mason postesrs. 

“Wots up fuckas???’ siad preofecx tsinister when she seas us. Dhe swears a lot becos she is a cuul techea. Sh also lets us smok ciggarrettes (and ova drugz lik crak an pot) in class. she alzo plaid gud mosic lik MCR Gud Charlotte ad P!ATD. Vampir oferred to lite my cigaret and den drakoi beet him up becaz he wos flitting wiv me. I got jealos bces the bois loked realy romanttic whil they were fiteing (becoz they r bi)and seggsy 2 (drako is bi also). Den i waz really deppresszed so i slit my writz to get drakos attention. He waz kinda mad at me and he said he didnt want to golf my hand so i slit my other writs and telled at him.

“You neva luv me draco u r2 in love with fuking vamnpire’

‘Enoby no!” he sobbbed

“Leave me al0ne!’ i hizsed ‘go have seggs wiv vampire becos u lov him more tahn me!’

I run to my dom room and went in da bathtub to skit my wrists some more. I turned on Linkin Park. I was crying and da watar was all redd becaus of my blud.

‘NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME BEING A GOFF IS SO HARD” i cried, drinking some of my own blood. Den i heard laughting at my windew. I pulled back the black lacy curtains and ther waz SNAP AND LOOPIN! DEY WERE WACHING MY IN THE BATH AGIN!


	7. chpater severus

‘OMFG GO WAY U PERVS! DIS IS MY DORM ROOM’ i screams

‘We werent doing anyfing the windeo was brokn alredy’ said loopin sushpishoishy.

“THATS BECAzE GERARD BROK IT WHEN HE WOS LEVING 4 HIS TOUR IN ANTARTCTICKA’ I threws a bok at dem. ‘Im t3lling dumblydore!!!!!!

‘Noooo dont he has a hedache’ cryed snap

‘2 bad peverts’ i sad

Just than, dumb door ran into the rom and also dracko.

‘Wgat the fock r u cunts doin;’ dublydorre howeled.

We heard yeling” aded draco unhlepfully. Snap swoong in de windo lik a money and Dumble dore hit hm in de balz and Drrki and I lafed and Vampir fel thru th ceiling.

“Snap e Luped wer tryne fim me agan becoz dere prepz ples dekapitat tem” I saz sepresdly.

“Wy is de winow brok3n?” Dumbleefor said madly

“Gerry D dumped out f it?”

“Whyyy?” Vampir spobed butt I dint no if twas fro the fal from d celing or Geris dissappearance.

“Becoz e hed an concer in atarcica.”

“Buz Gerd has not a sigle concrt in antarctika Enobby.” Draks sad confuzles.

“WHY DID HE LEV THN?” I screemed depreszedly.

“Becoz ur actaly a PREP!!!” Drac reveled

“Mo you stupid I’m dfe rel gofff.”

I soobed and jomped out de widow hitin snap as I plumete. Drak jomped after moi yelin NOOOOO.

Vnpir feld left ot so he johned, lepin donw afta me.

as i hitt da grond wiv gracce leving my hair spred out an blud everywher (but im a vampir so I dint di an it luked veery coul)i loked up an saw…

  1. NORRIS DA CARTAKER AN HS KAT FILTH!!!




End file.
